Saturday, May 3, 2008

Competition

I was once in a vicious Easter Hat contest, and I think I came in second...but at the time, first place was my only thought, my greatest wish and everything I'd worked for. I think it's safe to say that I'm competitive!

Years ago, I competed in a ladies' fishing contest in a large pond out in the beautiful countryside of Connecticut. Our then husbands were our lackeys and they took the fish off the hooks for us because it was just too gross. I won every year for 3 or 4 years, and the last year, my only real competition sent me nasty faxes and notes in the mail. She tried everything she could think of to intimidate me...tsk, tsk, tsk. It never worked because I know where fish live. My granddaddy taught me.

In every yoga class I've ever been in , there was always someone who came close to being in my yoga league and we fought hard to declare a silent winner by the end of the session. We never made actual eye contact nor did we acknowledge the competition, but we knew exactly what we were doing...even during all the Namastes and Peace be with yous. There are MILLIONS of closet yoga competitors and if you're one of them and you're reading this...you must be laughing!

I would try to win a sleeping competition if one existed. I have no idea where this came from....whose ancestral DNA I inherited. I think it was my great grand daddy who was a Mississippi River Boat Gambler. It's how he made his money, and he was damn good at it.

The only thing at which my mother was competitive was poker. She did NOT like to lose. Neither do I. I love to gamble. My life has been a gamble, and I'm beating the house so far. If there are two ants racing each other up a tree, I'll root for one to win. Do you think I need help? I'd feel competitive with the therapist to see which one of us could solve my problem first, so I'm not sure I'm a good candidate. Maybe medication?

KK

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I think it's in our genes. I think 'our daddy who art in heaven', Frank Jackson must have been really ambitious and competitive. He was a Navy pilot in WWII and that takes a lot of nerve. Courage; that accompanies a competitive spirit I think. That and an ability to not care if anybody thinks you are an asshole.

KK is right, gambling is directly related to competition. They are both something that you can win if you participate. It's like surfing the waves in Hawaii (I won 2nd place there in the surfing contest). You have to pick and choose your waves carefully but if you catch the right one it will take you for a ride you'll remember on your death bed. If you leave too soon and have to watch someone else catch that wave from shore, you never leave when you're supposed to again. That's what finally gets the gambler. That's why the house always wins and the doors never close. They've got you at, 'cocktail?.'

I was a national champion swimmer in high school. Very few people could beat me if we were in the same pool together. I just couldn't stand it if somebody was ahead of me. I had to win. My life is like that. If somebody does anything I do, then I have to do it better or faster or longer or funnier. This rule applies to cooking, acting and dancing 'The-Cotton-Eyed-Joe.' KK and I don't really compete, except for who's going to drive, who gets to wear the red pumps and who has to watch 'Wheel of Fortune' with The Ancient One that night.

I always lose at Monopoly, Scrabble and Rock/Paper/Scissors. This irks me no end and causes me to have to scoop out the kitty litter pretty much every day. I sometimes think KK is tomfooling me. Do scissors really cut rock? Hmmmmmm.

PLease excuse me while I go put the trash out. I thought I had her that time but...apparently rock smashes paper,
SalGal

5 comments:

Jay said...

Let me know if you find a solution, I might need to try it. On the other hand, I might have to beat you to it - are ya ready? Let's see who finds one first!!

Competitive? Moi? I even need to win arguments!

Anonymous said...

KK is cheating you Sally, Paper covers rock, stone blunts scissors.

Midlife Gals said...

Okay...will the person labeled "Anonymous" who left a comment on "Competition" and "Donde Esta La Bibioteca" please identify yourself? This last one about paper, rock, scissors was kinda creepy...and Sal was KIDDING, cuz that's what we do in our blog sometimes.

So, come out of the closet and name yourself...unless it's a self-esteem issue, in which case, identifying yourself will be cheaper than therapy!

KK and Sal

PS-we just don't want to have to block anonymous visitors and commenters...yet. Obviously, "Anonymous" knows us, so who are you?

TSannie said...

Too funny!

Janice( Misfit) said...

SORRY! I don't know who wrote on "Biblitec etc etc".butIt's me that's "anonymous" on the "Competitions" I don't know why it came out anonymous, but I'd pressed the button and couldn't get the damn thing back.
Didn't mean to creep you out,maybe I should get a licence to haunt. thought you'd just forgot the rules of the game.LOL Sorry about that.