EXTRA! EXTRA! Read All About It...The Ancient One Rises From The Couch!

It took Mother's Day to do it and LOTS of planning to get The Ancient One to agree to go to brunch, but by Gawd, we got 'er done. It's surprising that any of us could waddle out of the house because for Mother's Day, we got TAO the MOST rich chocolate buttercream cake, of which we all partook in small quantities in the am...so, we felt like we needed a nap before we even left.

Then we had to get her dressed, made up and hair curled. Our lunch was at 1:30 pm so we started at 9:30am. Some of you won't be surprised by this. For example, in order to curl her hair, we had to get her from the couch to another chair in the living room where there was a plug. This took about 6 minutes...tick tock!

While I was curling her hair, she just started stream of consciousness talking nonstop. Luckily, because I was behind her with the curling iron, I could watch Meet The Press while she jabbered on. Sal and I have learned how to work with her while tuning her completely out, but with the requisite 'mm, hms' and 'absolutelys.' She told me for the umpteenth time about her cousin, Kelly, who was her favorite family member. He was gay...making his living by tripping and falling all over downtown San Francisco, then suing whoever owned the property. He finally died of alcoholism. It was sweet to listen to her walk down memory Lane (for about five minutes...remember, we've heard this story).

Next, Sal took over with the dressing and adorning with appropriate jewelry. She had to get from the chair, down the hallway to her bathroom...another 9 minutes for that...with a stop to look out on the deck at the squirrels. SalGal could be heard saying things like, "Not those shoes...no, no, no...red doesn't go with pale blue," "Here's the armhole, right here...little farther...lift your head so I can button your blouse."

The walk from the front door to the car always takes the longest because she begins to realize that she is OUTSIDE! With each step, she discovers something new...it is soooo much like taking a toddler out that we smile because of all the things she's (re) discovering. Verrrrrrry carefully we pour her into the front seat of the car and off we go!

We arrive at her very small country club in our neighborhood and people become immediately helpful in getting her from the car to the dining room. It's Mother's Day, and she's so obviously a MOTHER! Then, it's a glass of Chardonnay for each of us. She looks beautiful and is happy and smiling and retelling other stories as Sal and I keep drinking. Such a lovely time was had by all and because the service was so outstanding and because we're not used to getting liquored up in the late morning, we walk to the buffet area where the staff is beginning to break it all down and we stand and applaud! They're gobsmacked but thankful. We're semi-embarrassed because applauding the staff is not country-club behavior, but we always want people to know what good jobs they are doing.

SalGal will continue this story from here. I'm tired just thinking about it and a new day dawns!

KK

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After lunch we drove around the quiet neighborhoods to look at the houses, comment on the tree growth and steal flowers from people's gardens. This always makes for a nice bouquet on the coffee table. All you need is a quick exit, a paper bag and a pair of clippers.

We got home at about 3:30PM and headed for seperate beds. Well, The Ancient One went straight for the couch as usual, KK dove into her bed and I went into the back bedroom. It was a given that naps were to be taken immediately. If you were to walk around the house an hour later you would have seen dark rooms with cats draped and snoozing over the backs of chairs and women snoring everywhere in the stillness of the late afternoon.

We all woke up at about five o'clock but only because the cats were hungry and decided to let us know by using the house as a jungle-gym and using our sleepy bodies for traction in their chasing of each other. The huge cake sat on the coffee table like a giant giraffe turd but that and the neighborhood roses made the house smell like a funeral at the Sarah Lee factory.

The Ancient One got into her robe and KK and I settled in for the three hour finale of 'Survivor.' Heaven. That was a perfect day.

We hope you had a perfect day too,
SalGal