Friday, March 14, 2008

There's No Turning Back!

If you've seen our Easter video
you will realize that we really do have too much time on our hands, so after we shot this video, we went to a lovely patio bar and got kinda liquored up. What ensued was a discussion about wrinkles...Our examples are the teacher know...your teacher in school who always pointed to the blackboard and the under part of her arm flapped around, creating a force of wind that could fan those in the front row. We yukked it up over this one...

Then, our 'bunny' chimed in with her own rendition...and after a coupla more glasses of wine, the most unfairest of wrinkle subjects came up which are the chest wrinkles...and this only happens when you're old enough to actually HAVE cleavage. That is just WRONG!

You yung'uns have so much to look forward to. Actually you do, but this is not part of it. Except if we didn't have wrinkles, what would we laugh about? I mean, besides the extra fat around our middles, the pouches under our eyes, the gray in our hairs, oh, and fat flaps over our knees! YEEHAW! AGING AIN'T FOR PANSIES!



You know what, I'm not even going to try to pretend that the picture of the boobs isn't me because it is. Notice that I have to practically put my elbows together in order to get the boobs close enough together to even make a cleavage. That's because KK and I have never had a cleavage. Well, that's not true we have but our cleavage is about ten inches wide and sort of looks like the back of an alligator head. The skin would be smoother but the eyes sticking up out of the head would be about right.

The Ancient One's boobs are really scary. They hang down over her stomach like two half-filled water balloons hanging down over the side of a hot air balloon. So the hot air balloon would be upside down with the balloons over that if you want a pure visual of Ancient One. And the hot air balloon would be painted like multi-colored flowers because that's her favorite robe.

And notice how in the cleavage picture the little finger on my left hand is bent like a mannequin finger? That started happening about five years ago. It's a good thing I don't play the piano. My career would be over because my finger is permanently in that position. In order to make a 'Q' on my keyboard i have to turn my left hand so that the fingers point directly at the 'g'. Try it and you will see what i mean.

And see the knuckles on the index fingers where they join the palm of the hand? That's arthritis. Your knuckles get really big and look like chestnuts. That didn't really happen to The Ancient One but I'd rather have chestnut hands than elephant ankles which is what she has.

Like I said in my last post...'When you've seen the joke, you've seen the truth. It's okay. KK and I intend to age gracefully with upcoming appointments for botox injections and neck lifts. Did you see my neck wrinkles in that picture. Oh, my god you have to laugh.


Smartiplants said...

You two are hilarious! Thank you for your blog and your videos! You are right...aging aint for sissies! Right now the part I am hating the most is the bifocals which I'm still not used to...cant see worth a crap, and the terrible memory. I will probably be fast approaching the retarded level by the time Im 60. Of course maybe those are good things. Maybe I wont see my wrinkles or remember Im getting old!

Linda said...

Thanks for my belly laugh for the day. The question is, do we wear sleeves, high necks and long shorts to cover it up or say, "What the heck?"

Debbie in NC said...

Finally a blog I can relate to! You guys are something else and I've just started reading but what I've seen has kept me in stitches.

I realize I have become my 6th grade teacher with the arm flapping. Son tells me the exercises to do, cause he seems to get this insane kick out of reaching over and making them flap! So I smack him with other arm.....

I especially love the videos!

I'll be back...

Mental P Mama said...

Y'all are the best! I just discovered my chest wrinkles, too. And I was lying in bed...not pretty.

marion said...

Hi Y' two are the best. (I found youvia "Boomer Chronicles) I have been looking for a blog that show/talks about aging without it taking it seriously! What chocie do we have: might as well have fun with it. I am just getting my blog (in the same vein) off the ground. But you two have DONE IT! Keep up the good work. ;0)

Dina Eisenberg said...

Thank you, thank you! I once had beautiful cleavage.

And, I still do when I get out the industrial strength bra to squeeze the girls together. Lately, my boobs are trying to escape via my armpits. Each night they get flat and creep closer to their final destination, which is probably my knees via the smelly route.

You gals make me remember that while I'm pondering my navel and marriage there's lots to laugh about. In fact, that's the first thing I did when I found you. Second thing, I got your feed.



thebaglady said...

hahahahahhaah omg. I'm going to laugh some more..hahahahhahahaha. Thanks for being so funny.

goddess in the groove said...

Love it!!
Thanks for the laugh!

Janie said...

Speaking of boobies...mine hurt.

I saw this cleavage/chest Obagi thing the other day - how to make your skin fresh and clear like it was when "we was youngun's".

It involved buying their system - which was like $300. I looked at the products, and realized I already had everything they were selling in that "special formula".

So, away I went. Self-treatment, as it were.

Except, I went a little deep. And now, I have retin-A burns on my boobies. And perfume burns those babies, too, now.


Just sayin'.

Omyword! said... forgot the long white chin hairs that everybody else can see...except you.

I'm so glad you found me through Entrecard! I added you to my feed. Looking forward to many more laughs.