Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Middle-aged Partying

SalGal and I had intended to be more rebellious on New Year's Eve, but we wound up just being good girls. We were all hat and no cattle with regard to our prediction of raucous behavior. Our evening could have been a funky chapter in a bad book. When we arrived at the Four Seasons after a lovely four-course dinner at a fancy restaurant, we spied two chairs in an area of the lobby lounge with another two chairs across a large table and a love seat at the end.

On the love seat were a couple who were enormously entertaining to watch (in a pathetic kind of way). He was middle-aged AND unattractive, but he'd managed to find himself a whopper of a gal who, although also middle-aged, had had more plastic surgery than you could shake a stick at. Her enormous bosoms were so high on her middle-aged chest that we were sure she might have lost the ability to breathe were she to look down for too long a period of time. The same bosoms were spilling out of a very tight RED dress which she had accented with faux-leopard fuck-me pumps, a leopard clutch and matching leopard shawl. She took the 'let's get drunk on New Year's eve' thingy very seriously and by 11 pm, had her shoes off with one leg sprawled over her partner's lap as her eyelids drooped like she was entering an anesthetic state in preparation for yet another plastic surgery.

We felt obliged to give the man in the middle of all this our cursory double-cheek pump kiss at midnight, because we felt so sorry for him, and he'd bought a bottle of Dom Perignon to share with us. We knew his flashy, trashy girlfriend would pass out in the elevator on the way up to their room...and we figured that he would probably be okay with that at his age.

We also met a couple of gals who were accountants from Illinois who had stuck a pin on a map and Austin came up as their destination for the New Year's weekend. We admired that attitude. We enjoyed our time visiting with them, but let's face it, we were all four scanning the lobby lounge in search of an attractive man with whom we might begin the new year. What SalGal and I didn't know was that there were two of these men specimens directly behind us, so when the accountants were looking at us, smiling, laughing and being what we thought were very attentive listeners, they were really puttin on the Ritz for the guys outside of our peripheral vision.

They made their move in such a way that we never knew what hit us. They simply announced in the middle of one of our very funny stories that they were going to go sit at another table where they thought they might have better luck and gee it was great to meet us, yada, yada, yada. We watched them walk away to the table of cutie patooties and we just smiled at each other, knowing that we woulda done the same damn thing. It was a good move on their part, bold, yet appropriate for the evening.

After retelling each other one of our very funny stories, we kissed at midnight, hugged our friend, the doorman on our way out and went home like the good girls we did not intend to be.

I did feel GREAT on January 1, however.

Happy New Year!


Yes, we were so adult on New Year's eve. The dinner was lovely and we looked really cute. The Four Seasons was beautiful and the drunken whore was fun to watch. We were pretty much sober and we looked dignified even though we were wearing silver, glittered tiaras that declared, "Happy New Year'!

I like noisy, loud rooms of revellers and that's what it was. The people all looked nicely dressed and KK and I had on panty hose. We don't go to that extreme often. Knee-highs usually make a well-turned ankle look nice and hide the spider veins pretty well.

We had lots of red wine, champagne and our lipstick stayed on. Are our days of outrageous partying over? Are we two fabulous midlife women with gracious dignity and the ability to behave ourselves in the face of offers of tokes and tomfoolery?



Charlotte said...

Oh my gosh, you gals are a hoot (or two ... but then, would that be hooters? I digress).

Your story about the poor rich guy with his Joan-Rivers girlfriend made me laugh so hard that I spilled tea allover my keyboard!

Midlife Gals said...

Charlotte is the second gal who spewed hot liquid from a cup upon reading our foolishness...and we LOVE that! Tell all of your friends to wear a bib before reading!

KK and SalGal

jyackley01 said...

Hilarious! Thoroughly enjoyed reading about your observations of the plastic-woman with plastic bosoms. Thank you so much for sharing!