Sunday, December 30, 2007


As we transition from one year to the next, I've been thinking about segues. Having too much champagne and kissing total strangers on midnight New Year's Eve seems like a perfect segue into the hang over that the first day of the new year will inevitably bring.

I'm just confirming the dictionary definition of this word: To move smoothly and unhesitatingly from one state, condition, situation, or element to another. That's just chocked full of meanings that can be manipulated, twisted, turned upside down or inside out, isn't it? Tomorrow night I will unhesitatingly move from one state, 'sobriety,' to another, 'witty-and-charming-bordering-on-obnoxiously-tipsy.'I will then continue to segue into 'bullet proof,' finally landing in a state of 'way-too-loud-when discussing-male-genitalia.' SalGal will call a taxi for us and we'll not remember a thing on January 1, which is another good segue.

And, I want a Segway, don't you? I just want to Segway myself all over the neighborhood. If you haven't a clue what I mean here, the definition of this trademarked word is: A self-balancing personal transportation device with two wheels that can operate in any level pedestrian environment. SalGal and I want to have drag races for Seniors on Segways up and down our street. We want to piss off every impatient driver who is late for their destination.

Since SalGal has nixed any New Year's resolutions, we don't have to worry about those segues-that-won't-be. I intend on being as happy in the new year as I was in the last which seems to me to be the PERFECT segue, and I wish the same for you!


This is a tough one and it seems that KK has covered all the bases with the whole concept of segues. I intend to segue into the new year with all the hope, positive thoughts and reruns of 'Ellen' that I can muster. I intend to make the very best of the opportunities that will come my way by staying spiritually awake, taking calculated risks and cheating wherever possible.

I am going to segue from being somewhat depraved to halfway dignified, from sort of witty to downright brilliant and from Kirstie Alley pudgy to George Clooney svelt. He looks great don't you think?

So off we go with another start date for a brand new chance to do those things that make us happy and piss off our enemies. Onward through the fog is our motto and my headlights are on bright...

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