Friday, January 4, 2008

I keep losing things

First it was my virginity when I was 17. Now-a-days it's the car keys or my mind. At this age, I can lose my train of thought in mid-sentence even when I'm dead on track with a very important point to make. First I get a panicked look on my face, then a far-away stare as I try to force my brain to stay with me, to not embarrass me...alas,the little man in the filing department has already taken that thought and walked to the way-back section and filed it under "Will never remember." That file is huge, by the way.

Those middle-aged women who might be my listening audience just fold over and slap their thighs with laughter because they also have this filing system, and they know that I will never regain my train of thought. What is adorable is that they then try to help me..."Okay, now, we were talking about the letter you got yesterday...was it a love letter? Was it an eviction notice? Were you summoned for jury duty?" They keep prodding me to try to remember until I look at them and simply say, "Forget it, it's gone." They know it's already been filed by the little man in my brain, so we laugh and move on.

I've lost my compassion for complainers. I don't know where I put it, but I lost it several years ago. Obviously, I complain on occasion myself, but the 'hope fairy' gives me a good SLAP across the face, and I snap out of it.

I like it when I lose my inhibitions. Alcohol is a help here, but I can lose them with just a triple-dog-dare. I'm sure there are many people out there who know me, and I'll bet you that they are STILL looking for my inhibitions to give back to me, and they would probably say, "KK, please don't lose these again. It's just too embarrassing, and we like you better with inhibitions than without."

I am losing the tightness in my skin. When I rub my eyes, the eyelids stay where I rub them instead of bouncing back to their original position, and forget putting on eye make-up without stretching the skin so tightly that I look oriental. I can lift up the skin on the top of my hands ... it stays there until I pat it back down, and the skin on my neck has developed little mini-crevasses. Let's move on.

Finally, I've lost all sense of what my boundaries should be. Since I now believe that there ARE no boundaries and that we're all just energy waves flowing in, out and around everything else, I'm a little wobbly on what I should and shouldn't do or say. SalGal has been my mentor in this area because the woman will say just about anything to anyone anywhere at anytime. I love that about her. The older I get, the more wobbly I become. I like that about me.

Here are some things not to lose:

Your temper
a sense of humor
a condom at the moment of truth
your diary
your purse in an airport
your health

choose what you'll lose and stick with it!



I'm still trying to lose that last 20 pounds. I've been trying to lose it for about six years now. I lost about forty pounds in the last six years and then lost the ability to lose any more. I lose my good sense every time I go to the movies and smell popcorn, smell garlic near an Italian restaurant or catch the glint of a Black Jack bottle behind a bar.

I lost my marbles in 1968 when I went to the University of Kansas and found marijuana, LSD, shrooms, mescaline and Spanada. That was what we subsisted on at good ole KU. We protested the war we were losing and then we lost our draft cards, bras and weejuns. Remember Weejuns where you put a penny in the front part of your shoes? Hippies only wore Earth shoes or went barefoot.

I have lost many things in my life and I've forgotten what most of them were and so I figure they were not that important so I'm not going to worry about it. I just want to make sure I don't lose my sense of humor, my KK or my recipe for Francis Ford Coppola's spaghetti sauce. And I don't want to lose my eyesight, hearing or psychiatrist's telephone number.

I want to lose myself in a good book and find the time to be a good sister, daughter, friend and cohort in tomfoolery,

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