Tuesday, January 29, 2008

What a Mess!

The construction crew showed up on our street this morning at 7:30 am. The man who works the jackhammer kept looking at his watch and at precisely 7:45 am (like everyone would be awake at that time)...7:44:59...ready? GOOOOOOOO...OOOOO....OOOOO....OOOOO! SalGal and I looked cross-eyed at each other and concurred that we are VERY worried about any and ALL people who choose this line of work! Have you ever watched a guy using a jackhammer? Sheesh! And, women could never do this job because if they did, their bosoms would wind up wrapped around their waists and tied in a bow in the front by the time they were 25! What a mess!

Infrastructure is basically a mess all over town...and I dare say your town too, right? You don't see the potholes until your back right tire is wedged two feet in there. Oh, they'll come and fix the pothole in about six months...by slapping some hot, sticky tar on top of it that oozes back out of the hole like toothpaste gel when the next car drives over the hump.

I would like to thank the city of Austin though for leaving the day-glo warning cones up on our street for over three months because SalGal and I woulda never thought to use them as barrels for our Jazzy Scooter Barrel Race video .

Because the road construction crews work for the city, their ambition quotient is nonexistent. It takes three of them to look in a hole and decide what to do with the hole after thirty minutes of debate, laughter, cigarettes and blank stares. We all know that they're usually not as careful as they might otherwise be if they had an elementary-school education because they ALWAYS seem to cut the wrong line...boom...no phone, water or electricity, but by Gawd the sewer line is complete! What a mess!

I do also owe a debt of gratitude to the crews for spending the last two months tearing up our street because it gives The Ancient One something to talk about and something to look at besides Fox News. Of course, she's deaf so she can't hear the jackhammer, but she can see the workers so we are then privy to a half-hour primer on what SHE thinks about construction crews. It's the same thing we think but we get to hear it again with painful conjecture about the workers private lives and what they might have done with their futures had they entered the country legally.

I can't wait for the paving crew next!



Isn't that just the way things always go? You have to make a mess before you can make things pretty. You have your hair splayed out on layers of tin foil to get that highlighted look, you get your whole body covered in a mud pack to have smooth, soft skin and in order to have a beautiful garden you'd better take numerous trips to the mound of cow shit by the back fence.

It's not just right out in front of our house though. It seems like the whole city of Austin is being torn up and redirected. Lots and lots of people want to move to Austin and who can blame them? And in that case the streets have to be widened, the condos need to rise downtown and small businesses will die away to make room for Mariotts with fake hydrangeas in the lobby.

The kitchen looks like a tornado hit it when I've been cooking gourmet. What a mess. But wow on the acorn squash soup with sage/parmesan croutons. KK's desk at times looks like a whirlwind blew in the door. What a mess. But kudos to the graphic designs in her gorgeous affirmation books. The Ancient One sometimes reminds me of a disheveled mound of laundry. Sort through the lights and darks though and you will find at the core...what a mess!!

The noise goes on outside and the workmen jackhammer and pound the gravel and backhoe the street gutters. At least I know that some day the street will look clean and black and they will all be gone. That's why I can stand it. It's that infernal bird just outside my window and right next to my bed that goes, 'chewey! chewey! chewey! chewey! chewey! chewey!' every morning at 6am for 30 fucking minutes. When will he go away? Will I ever have peace from him? I think not. I think I have a shotgun in the garage. Overkill perhaps and what a mess. nyuck, nyuck nyuck.



LTB said...

Oh my gosh..you guys are a trip. I looked at your Jazzy Scooter Barrel Race and laughed my head off. I yelled at my son to come in and look at it..he is paralyzed and uses a scooter..he thought something was wrong and in his haste to get in here, he dropped his laptop and broke off the corner. Of course this was MY fault and he yelled at me to tell me so. Not to worry tho, crazy glue to the rescue and all is well. My own sister lives right there in Texas (Trinity) and we are 64 and 63 (me) and a couple of crazy old bats. LTB

hungarianwomen45 said...

I began reading blogs because I'd like to improve my English.I found your blog a few days ago.I just love it!It's interesting and so funny!As for the language ,I learn a lot...
The "pothole-problem" is just the same in my country,too.(or even worse??)
I'm looking forward to reading more.

Christine said...

I know this sounds odd but I'm working with a group on an art project. might need to steal some of those orange cones for me