I’ve made my decision on who to vote for in the next US presidential election. I’m going to vote for ClinBamaGiulCain. There…I’m committed. No turning back now!
I’m confessing, obsessing and thrilled with my choice. It’s a middle-of-the-road choice, I know, but that’s where I am at age 55. Here’s the deal…as a woman, how could I not vote for the potential first woman president? Why wouldn’t I support a possible first black president or the man who gave such comfort to New Yorkers on 9/11? And, who wouldn’t trust a man who spent years at the Hanoi Hilton and even gave up his turn for a fellow prisoner when it was time to be released?
The problem is this…how could I vote for a woman who didn’t have the courage and self respect to leave a cheating husband, one who cheated and lied all over the place and cozied up to every skirt he wanted underneath? And, why would I give my vote to an African American who looks like he’s a seventeen-year-old Eagle Scout with a bright future but who is so green behind the ears that I cringe at the notion of his high-level talks with a nutcase like Putin? With 9/11 a distant, horrible memory, how could I give my precious vote to a man whose son is supporting another candidate, for Criminy’s sake? What does he know that we don’t yet? And, the Vietnam vet is older than Gawd, so how long is he going to last?
I’m from west Texas where all the cowboys live, and they want a ball-bustin’, horse-ridin’ son-of-a-bitch who will do what they want him to. On the other hand, I live in the capital of Texas, an island in the desert sea that is often proclaimed, The People’s Republic of Austin.’ These constituents want every smoker hung, every non-recycler sent to prison and every conservative strung up by her toes. It’s tough around here for a middle-of-the-roader.
I have a confession to make, and I know that if we’re all honest at the end of the day, there are some out there who have sold their votes for love…been converted by a husband, wife, lover or the postal carrier. Yep, that’s happened to me. In my desperate cravings for love, I have been persuaded that my convictions can be switched for a large bottle of Chanel No. 5 or a hand to hold when fears arise, and I’ve sold my soul for a multiple orgasm. There, I’ve said it. I’m not proud, but I just love Chanel N. 5, okay?
When push comes to shove, here is my dilemma. I support every woman’s issue on the planet. I think stem cell research is the answer to all ailments of incurable dimensions. But, I like the way our American economy is going. I am totally on board in the ‘global’ war on terror and think that every terrorist should have to spend a few years in the Hanoi Hilton. On the other hand, I think the US health care system is a nightmare, but I don’t think Canada has the answer there either. I think that we should do away with health insurance all together…make the doctors have to compete with each other and give us service for pay…like whoever has to wait longer than 15 minutes in a waiting room gets their medical care for free.
I’ve worked for the daughter of a democratic President of the United States and that daughter is as much of a megalomaniac as her father. I’ve worked for a media guru who helped elect the same republican President not once, but twice. That person started his own political career as an anarchist, so who do I believe??
And, the television commercials haven’t even started yet! By the time they’re coming at us full speed, I hope there will be a law in place that blocks the ads from being projected on our TV screens the way they sent us all a number we could use to block all the harassing sales pitches on the phone at dinnertime. I’m such a middle-of-the-roader that I’ll believe each commercial which will further cement my decision to vote for ClinBamaGuilCain.
I'm gonna vote for Barak Obama. I already know that. Hilary Clinton is fake and I hate her. She does a fake southern accent when she is in the south. KK pointed that out to me and I have hated her ever since.
People say Obama is young and naive. Well, so was Kennedy. If I had been old enough to vote, I would have voted for Kennedy.
If George Clooney ran for president I might vote for him...or Tony Bennett. Maybe Chris Rock would be good because he can find the joke in anything and the State of the Nation speeches would be hilarious.
Ellen DeGeneras would be a great Vice President. We could send her to Iraq or France or anywhere and she would make them laugh.
I would like to be the US Ambassador to The Bahamas. Start a petition for me and I'll put you up for a week at Jake's on the south shore of the island.
Being President of the US would be a really hard job and I wouldn't want to do it. Would you?