Friday, June 20, 2008

My tangled life/By SalGal

This morning I was dreaming that I was in a big dryer. You know those big dryers at the laundromat where you can see the clothes going around and around in the window? Well, I was in one and looking out the glass window. I awoke to find that I had apparently rolled over in my sheets so many times that I was wrapped up like a worm in a cocoon. I had to roll over three times to get extricated from my predicament. I know I dreamed that because yesterday when I tried to get The Ancient One's robes and nighties out of the washing machine they were all twisted and tangled. The robes' sashes were twisted throughout and everything looked like a big multicolored rope. As I tried to undo it I thought about how my life seems to do the same thing.

I bought a new hose for the garden. One hundred and fifty feet of green vinyl that looked simple enough. As I dragged out the coiled hose across the lawn I managed to get it so tangled that it took me two hours to get it laid across the lawn and get all the crimps out of it. I was so hot and sweaty I decided to take a shower and when I pulled the string on my drawstring pants, instead of it coming untied it turned into a knot. I tried to get my pants off without undoing the knot but that was not going to happen. So there I sat on the bed trying to undo the string as Buddy found the string to be the funnest toy in the world.

I shooed Buddy away and he jumped on the table and knocked the computer mouse and some kind of adapter under the table. When I got under there to get them I found a tangle of wires and cables that looked like a giant black widow had tried to build a nest. As I tried to get the mouse and adapter thingy back up to the table my drawstring dangled as the phone rang and I hit my head on the bottom of the table.

I thought everything was good as I enjoyed my shower and opened the drawer where KK and I keep our hair dryers. As I pulled out my hot/curler blower, KK's five curling irons and blowers came out all at the same time in a tangle of black wires that linked them all together like some demented string of Christmas tree lights. In the drawer above that, the same gremlins had wreaked havoc with the wires to my electric shaver (legs), my cell phone charger and a ribbon that had wrapped itself around a headband.

Sometimes my mind feels like it's tangled up in thoughts of every day concerns, deep philosophical concepts and musings on who the Bachelorette is going to get rid of next. It's all just a big jumble of sparking neurons that seem to have no logical connections to each other. Do you ever feel like that?

Have you ever pulled the string on your Nike tennis shoes to untie the bow and had it turn into a knot? Excuse me while I try to get this damned thing undone.

SalGal
SalGal

11 comments:

prin said...

i hope she gets rid of that dark haired suck up that's always butting into her time with everyone else. I thought his name was jeremy but after last week i'm not so sure...anyway in my mind his name is jeremy, whether he likes it or not. i feel for you with the cords. i had to train myself to wind the cords back up and put rubber bands on then to keep them secure. if i didn't do that i would surely murder someone or go completely insane :)

P.S. Original said...

Oh the tangled web we weave! Every year at Xmas I tell myself Im going to put the tree lights back in an orderly fashion so I don't have to take the Lords name in vain on his birthday.....and every year I throw them back in the box along with any scraps of wrapping paper and hard candy no one wanted. It's probably why I'm the only one who decorates our tree.
My underwear drawer is equally chaotic only much less decorative!

Bear Naked said...

SalGal, you are obviously missing KK, as she must be the person in your life who can unravel all your problems.

forsythia said...

Tangles happen. Who gets into the drawer at night and hitches all the paper clips together? Ditto open safety pins. Why does the frozen turkey fall out of the freezer when you're in your bare feet? Why does the floss pull the crown off your tooth just before the wedding? How the hell does baby-fine hair manage to wrap itself so tightly around the brush when you're giving your hair a blow---uh, when you're blowing your hair dry?

Margie and Edna said...

Edna: Oh SalGal, I feel like this *all* the time.

We love your blog, you and your sister are truly hilarious!

Bill Evertson said...

You think you have problems department, I should Call my 91 year old mom the Nose. Gossip Extraordinaire. Now in a nursing home with dementia and other health problems (like any good guilt-ridden son I visit 3 times a week) she wants me to fill her in on gossip. Problem is that every one she used to need gossip on who has died - so now she wants the dirt on my friends! I think I'll tell her that Corrine( Jafabrit) has been placing knitted poo around town. Of course she'll wonder how Corrine is related or maybe she'll put her in the Hillary column, with whom she is a close adviser.Thanks Sal Gal

Nervus Rex said...

Oh, what a tangled web we weave...

Thanks for the laughs! Glad that I'm not the only one spending the day tied up in knots!

Anonymous said...

loved the story in the Statesman today. Hope it brings you fame and fortune!!

Elaine said...

Or why is it the open can of pickled beets leap out of the fridge when you open the door to extract your lunch just as you're out the door and late for work? Yep. My life is like that, too. Would detangling rinse work on those knots?

leezee52 said...

You two are great! I found you through " Allison". I'll put you on my blog roll.

Becky T. Lane said...

OMG, so glad I heard about you on Women Bloom! One of my other midlife blogger friends was just talking about the difference between what our mothers were doing at midlife (sitting), and what we are doing (blooming). You two make damn fine examples! And I hear ya about Midland. Hubby's an Odessa boy, and we've lived in Midland twice (but spent the whole time trying to figure out how to get to the Hill Country). Finally made it!