Sunday, June 1, 2008

Be Careful of The Hudlooms

Mr. "Ibrahim Lamorde" sent SalGal an email the other day. The subject line read, "OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY/BE CAREFUL OF THE HUDLOOMS"

Here was the first paragraph:

"Based on the findings of this investigation department, we wish to warn some touts. We have been informed that some touts are contacting you i of the colection of your fund in the total sum of $35 Million U.S. Do was long approved in your favor through the WEMA BANK PLC."

Here is my question...Do these people (usually from third world countries) think that we in the United States are all just complete dumbbells? I mean, some of us ARE complete dumbbells, but there are a WHOLE lot of us who know a scam when we read one...except that Sal and I can't even figure this one they want to give us money or have us give them money for arresting the 'tout's who have stolen our $35 Million U.S. Do?

Thank God for our spam agents out there in cyber space tracking down these 'hudlooms.' I think it's pretty safe to say that Mr. "Ibrahim Lamorde" is not going to be upset or think about suing me for liable because I'm talking about him in our very public blog. As a matter of fact, I would wager all my egg money on the fact that this is not his real name. What do you bet?

How many times have you all won THE U.K. LOTTERY in millions of pounds sterling?? I think we're all RICH! I'm going to wait to spend my money until the checque has cleared. It WON'T clear, you say? Pish posh...why I've won more merchandise than just about anyone i no, including all the 'touts.'

Please, let's all thank our spam agents for saving us from the Ibrahims of the cyberworld...and if you know of anyone who falls for this malarky, please confine them to a living space without access to mail or email or telephones!



I had to save that letter it was so hilarious. I still can't figure out what the 'touts'' are. Here's another paragraph from that letter
"Although we have been able to come up with some good result about the pepl who have extorted money from you illegallyand i wish to llst some of them will personally indicatee them by writing back to us because we want to paymtn to you without any delay but we must surely deal wand bring the book if only you will indicate correctly any oif them."

And here are a few of the names:
Dr.ken in U S A
Mr. Benson Wolly Fedex Courier Service
Fred Azu
Mr. Ernest Chukwudi Ebi

Uh, Dr. ken who? and give me a cuppa coka...AZU!! Gazundtiet..and how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Listen, forget about all of this scullduggery and just be smart and delete every email you get from the UK or Nigeria.

Hey! You there reading this blog! Yer are one millionth reader and youwon prise of $800,00,000,00 poundsterling! Arnt' you exxiyted? All you has to do is sen me five hundred dollars and I will putdraftmones in your bank acoutn. What is you bankaccont # anyway? And kyou name and address. Yu can trust medeerest one and watchout for skammmers!

Your frieind in Budha,


Misfit said...

hello deerest ones
thank yous forda promis ovda muney I luck forwood two reeseeved it,I wil takit in best english sterling.Quick as you can pleese.
Mustapha Fagg

Treasia said...

Still laughing my ass off on this post. Like you I have won more money and gifts than I can actually count. Funny thing is I have yet to receive the first blooming one.

My favorite way to respond back to them:

Pls. male geft to:
666 Doilukstupd Drive
Dumbfuck, USA

Bill Evertson said...

Thanks for the hilarity. Every-time I visit your site I find another reason for viewing the absurd with humor and grace. Thanks! Best Bill

Bear Naked said...

It took me a while to figure out what a hudloom was. I kept reading it as *HUD*.

If you figure out what a tout is please let me know.

Could it be a toot?

You gals are a hoot!

Bear Naked said...
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Bear Naked said...
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Egghead said...

These messages make me laugh and I just love to mess with their heads. I always reply thanking them profusely for giving me the opportunity to become rich. I then state that I have a mental disorder and will have to forward it on to my father who works for the CIA and FBI both to help me to help them. I go on and on about how much this will help me and I just know my father will be so helpful to them. You would not believe how many write back and say please don't forward this to your father or never mind we have it figured out now. Makes me laugh.

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

I thought I inherited all the King's money damn, the disappointment!

My man in the moon said...

Love your space. This post has made me laugh so hard. I hope we have smarter people that that in our country. Wait a minuite I take that back I wonder if my Ex's family has read this the may pawn the dog
Great post and I do love your page. I am new to this bogging thing and finding so many wonderful people to meet. Come and see me some time.
have a wonderful day.

Anonymous said...

Haha this is a great post this is my first visit to your blog but I like it so far. I hate those weirdos.

Janice Watson said...

THought you'd like to know,in the UK a "Tout" is someone who stands outside a football ground selling tickets often illegal ones.Think you call them "Scalpers"
Janice (misfit)