Friday, June 27, 2008

Give Me The Chance!

I bought a card the other day with my new favorite quote, "All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."

It would take me a looooonnnnng time to prove this because I would have to experience riches in every area of my life. Um, let's see...would I rather stay at a Four Seasons or Motel 6? That's a tough one. Would I rather marry a rich man or a cowboy in a trailer park? (actually, since I'm an old rodeo whore, I had to think twice about that one). Or, would I rather wear Ralph Lauren or Tarjay (That's the French pronunciation of Target).

When you grow up with champagne tastes and a skim milk pocket book, 'lusting after' is a reality in your life. Correct me if I'm wrong here. Of course, the bible tells us not to covet, but that book is so thick, I didn't even TRY to read it until I was in my 30's. So, I missed a few commandments, ok? I WANT things now. Here's a partial list:

  • The most expensive Hybrid car on the market. Hey, you get what you pay for, right?
  • An entire wardrobe of Ralph Lauren, Donna Karan and Michael Kors all mixed and matched together
  • The perfect house (like a Gatsby mansion) with topiary shaped animals and a garden full of nothing but peony and roses
  • A stable full of beautiful, healthy, well-trained for each style I choose to ride that day...cutting, dressage, jumping, barrel racing or roping
  • A huge swimming pool made with tiny Prussian blue Italian tiles with randomly placed tiny gold tiles that reflect the sun and make the water look like diamonds
  • A big-ass flat screen tv in every room including the shower! (I don't want to miss Ellen!)
  • And Brad Pitt laying nekkid on my king-sized bed with the Italian Pratesi sheets
That ought to do it for starters. I don't want to come off looking TOO selfish, but truth be told, there are a LOT more items on my list. What does your list look like?



Actually, I wouldn't have to have money to make my main dream come true. Would that I had a fish tail and could breathe under water. That would make me happy. When you were on land you could breathe air and have legs but as soon as you dove into the water you would be able to breathe and a dolphin, but with underarm hair.

I don't want a big bed. You see these giant, huge beds in show rooms at furniture stores and on HGTV home design shows and they are piled high with twenty thousand pillows like big, poofy mountains of foofoo. I want a queen-size bed with dark green, turquoise and gold backgrounds; swirling designs of peacocks and palm trees, and ghostly head-shots of George Clooney on the pillow cases. That wouldn't cost that much.

As far as expensive stuff, I want a loft in downtown Austin with 14-foot ceilings, a red Lexus and a sculpture of a mermaid next to an Olympic-size pool with an Italian fountain at one end and a pool house at the other that resembles the Taj Mahal. I would also like floats in the pool that are in the shape of George Clooney and have his face.

This is fun! This is like making out a Christmas list. I realize it's different now because we are adults, so our wishes are more conservative and realistic. Send your wishes up to the Universe and make it good! Give it all ya got! It's fun and it doesn't cost anything...



Maggie said...

Ah, Ralphie. Ralphie fits this oversized body of mine. But Macy's or Bloomies prices don't fit what's left of my pocketbook. I've developed a nose for Ralphie tho at Thrift Villiage, Sallies Army, Amvets Thrift stores, Goodwill, and especially the Cancer Society. They get all the top end stuff, and I am not the only fattie wearing Ralphie around.

You have to have thrift stores as good as mine.

leezee52 said...

This sounds like "The Bucket List". I just watched it last night and I used a whole box of tissues!
1) To have the most kick ass computer with everything on it

2)I would like to go away again alone with my sisters somewhere.

3)I wished that they had a super fast train/plane to NY so I could have Coffee with my Daughter.

4)I wish my neighbor would clean up his crappy house and yard.

5)I wish my parents were still alive...I miss them!

Well that's it just to name a few because the list is endless. Thanks for letting me play along!

carolyn said...

My list begins with:

* A cleaning lady
* any car but my current-a white minivan
* a bigger house (for the cleaning lady to clean, you know...)
* college funds for the kids

Anonymous said...

Mustn't forget the appropriately hunky pool boys to go along with it all!

After all, that's pretty much the only reason rich women have pools. The chlorine ruins their expensive skin regimes, don'tcha know? LOL

Anonymous said...

As my aunt used to say when someone said "money doesnt buy happiness".. I'll do my own shopping thank you .:)

but alas, living here in montana... what would and does bring me happiness is learning my horses... I came up with an 11th commandment .. "Thou Shalt not goose thy Gazi".. .Gazi's my arabian.. give him any leg at all and you're going to san diego very very quickly :)

trot on friends, trot on.

Rhea said...

They say money doesn't make for happiness, but sometimes they're wrong.

Bill Evertson said...

Cleaning ladies-get over it. K and I have a friend, who is a cleaning lady, come in once every other week for three hours. $75 bucks and worth every penny, because she makes us pick up our mess or she won't step foot into the house. I think she forces us to do most of the the work.
Perhaps we could travel more. Thank God we're so boring that we are satisfied. K just looked over my shoulder and mentioned the deck I was supposed to do this summer. Oh Well. I should ask her if the decking material needs to have George Clooney's face imbedded-if so I think I'll put it off until fall.

Janice(midlife misfit) said...

It may be true that money can't buy happiness, but If I'd prefer to be miserable in comfort thank you very much.