If I had a nickel for every time I've either said that or heard some other Texan say it to me, I'd be "richer than dirt in an old cow pen." This quote comes from a WONDERFUL book called, "This Dog'll Really Hunt," by Wallace O. Chariton. When I wrote my novel, "A Texan Goes to Nirvana," I used these Texas words and sayings a'plenty which brings me to the reason for this blog.
The Midlife Gals have a precious female fan who lives in a tiny village in Hungary. Can you believe that? As tech-noidiots, we find this incredibly hard to grasp, but eeenyway...she allowed as how she loves our blog and is using it to learn English!! I tried to warn her that there are those who think that Texans do not SPEAK English and that she might be chastised were she to run into someone else who speaks the King's English there in Hungary. If they heard her speaking Texan, they might commit her for fear that she was speaking in tongues.
She assured me that our blog would be a humorous primer on English, but she needed the definition of "blue drivers." Bless her heart, what she meant to say was, "blue-haired drivers" from our blog on driving. Of course, we call The Ancient Ones also 'blue hairs" here in Texas so that would explain that...at least in Dallas.
I had a sister-in-law once who could spew forth Texisms like breathing in and breathing out. My favorite one from her was when she described a skinny woman as being, "thin as mosquito milk."
Here are a few Texisms and phonetic spellings that I simply couldn't live without:
*mean as a snake in the hallway
*happy as a cow in belly-high clover
*funny as a clown on fire (or far)
*I'm guuuuuud, ha'r yyyyyyyeeeeuuuuuwww? This would be in answer to this blog's title
*older than Gawd
*full as a tick (only to be said at a fancy dinner party when you're offered dessert)
*don't mess with Texas (an actual official state government proclamation about litter)
*I'll be go to hell (Wow! in Texan)
Now I KNOW that I'll hear from you Texans out there because the above list is but a smattering of Texisms and it's early Sunday morning with my brain in idle mode till I've had my coffee!
Yeah, the Texan language is it's own morphism from the King's English into Davy Crockett/Lyle Lovitt speak. My favorite is when some guy calls me, 'Little darlin''. I like it better than babe, ma'am or whore bitch from hell.
I once heard a cowboy, upon learning that he was going to get a good part in 'Young Guns', say that he was 'nervous enough to catch a hummingbird'.
'Bless her heart' is one of every Texas woman's favorite expressions. We can get away with murder when skewering another woman or man who has raised our eyebrows. 'Well! That was rude and uncalled for. And she needs to take that wad of gum out of her mouth and get some couth lessons. Oooh...ugly as a three-legged armadillo upside down peeing on itself. Bless her heart.'
Hi, ya'll, how's yer mama and them?' That's Texas talk for, 'Dude! Sup!'. Other greetings to strangers and friends include the tip of a cowboy hat and a 'howdy, ma'am', 'did yer cat ever git over that liver disease?' and 'I'll see ya at Guero's if ahh kin still stand up bah theyen'.
So happy trails to you - till we meet agin....