Um...Fem-man-ism

I was born in west Texas in 1952. That should tell anyone who is familiar with the year 1952 or the location of west Texas how I feel about feminism. I totally understand the premise, but some of us middle-aged women have been as confused about this concept as the men our age have been.

On the one hand, there is certainly no question that women are as smart as men...that's a given. And, one of the reasons I left my last husband was because I asked him years ago to define the word, oxymoron, and his example was "smart woman." Hmmmmm, how smart was I to have married HIM!

There are a great many of us who had mothers like mine...The Ancient One. She raised us to believe that we would give our education but a cursory involvement as we focused on all the etiquette it would take to snag a wealthy husband, settle down as the town's best hostess and have children. She even intentionally left out middle names for her daughters, telling us that our maiden names would be our middle names when we got married.

Then the sixties and seventies came along. And, even though I agreed with what that woman said who had the long, stringy, brown hair that she parted in the middle...and she wore big, round glasses that came partly over her hair on the side to show the tops of her ears...see, I've forgotten her name which has nothing to do with the cause, but everything to do with middle-age. I should be ashamed of myself, but let's face it, she needed an extreme makeover back then.

Anyway, I agreed with a lot of that, but here's the thing...I still wanted a man to open the door for me. I longed for a man to pull a chair out for me, wait until I sat down and then scoot me forward to make sure I was 'tucked in' to the table. I unabashedly sought out men who would easily tell me that I looked sexy, and any cowboy who tipped his hat and called me ma'am could have whatEVER he asked of me.

Of course, the poor men were so confused they hadn't a clue what to do back then. Bless their hearts, they're still trying to figure it out. Boys, I say err on the side of being polite and if the woman shuns your efforts, she'll find a man for whom she can open the door, and that will be that.

Because of middle age, I am now able to excuse myself from all sorts of things I neglected to do, read, think or be during my youth. I can only retain so much now-a-days. I love strong women who like men, have a complete sense of themselves and have it all figured out. Me, I'm still looking for a man who will open a car door for me, close the door when I'm all 'tucked in' to the car, then (and only then) walk around to get in himself...and who will do this EVERY time we go driving.

Am I asking too much?
KK

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I guess I totally 'get' feminism but I don't think about it much. I mostly think that men are idiots. They're all boys. I have a wonderful man friend though who says, 'That's okay, I don't use the word 'woman' any more either.

Back in the old days of the people who believed in the Roman and Greek gods, the political and spiritual leaders were women and they were matriarchal societies. And the world was just as violent then as it is now.

I like to look at men's bodies and I am a hand and forearm woman. Big, man- hands are handsome. I like mens' strength and speed but we now live in a world where, in order to succeed and protect the family, you don't need those things so much. You need imagination and courage these days to keep up with the big dogs and women have plenty of those two things. I'm like KK though. I like the gracious manners of a well heeled man. I like men who know good wines, appreciate fine accommodations, dress well and know where the bourbon isle is at 'Twin Liquors'.

Men should just step back now and let us take over everything. Let me run the studio while you do the grocery shopping. Let me take the meeting while you play with the kids. Keep going to the gym to keep your body looking good. Kiss me when I get home and stand there and look pretty, mister man. Your days of leading the dance are over. You deserve a rest as you guys did the best you could. Get ready to sit back and enjoy the home while we women of the world fix this shit.

Let's get to work girls...
SalGal