Friday, December 21, 2007

Gift Giving

'Tis the Season! We like to create a stack of presents that The Ancient One always describes as "A vulgar display." No matter, it's only once a year and our motto is give, give, give and receive, receive, receive!

Are you the kind who peeks at your presents before Christmas morn? My little childhood friend, Margaret would completely unwrap each of her gifts to see what she would be getting and then re-wrap them so professionally that nary a relative of hers could tell what she'd been up to. I don't understand this mentality, but I know that there are a LOT of you slackers out there who do this. Why?... is my question. Actually, my other questions about this would be, 1)Who taught you to do this? 2)Did you grow up receiving gifts that weren't wrapped at all so the wrapped gifts you now see are an enticement that absolutely cannot be a chocolate truffle with champagne?

Let's confess our regifting sins, shall we? I have noticed that the Universe has shifted on this subject after reading an article in a magazine about how this is what everyone SHOULD do now so we can all cut down on our gifting and just 'recycle' the ones we have. It's like the nonsmokers who took over the world and now make the few, pathetic smokers feel like they've just killed their children. Pretty soon, we'll all be made to feel SELFISH about purchasing something new when we could simply wash, dry and perfume an old pair of socks, wrap them in Bergdorf Goodman wrapping paper and give them to Daddy! I will NOT be a party to this! I'm going to go out there and SPEND MONEY, by Gawd! And, I want a sales slip and store tags on whatever gift I RECEIVE so I'll know it's not been given to the person who gave it to me!

I had a husband once who double-gifted. He hated shopping more than anything...especially shopping for me (can you sense that I left him quite awhile ago?) One Christmas He gave me a lovely sterling silver pin from Tiffany's in the shape of a 'K.' I thanked him profusely and not three months later, I got another one for my birthday. I did not go by the nickname KK back then, but that is exactly where my nickname came from...this shameless mistake on his part, and he wasn't even remorseful!

Don't we all really give gifts that WE want anyway? I couldn't think of anyone who wanted a Bose Wave Sound System as much as I did, so I just bought one for myself this year. My extravagant gift for having been such a good little girl. Did I spend more on that gift for myself than all the gifts I bought for loved ones combined? Shhhhh...don't ask, don't tell!

Merry Christmas!



I love Christmas so much and I love to go shopping for presents for people. I like it so much that I mostly forget that I'm going to receive some presents too!!

Re-gifting is so tacky. I only do that to people I really don't like at all. And only with gifts that I got from people that I liked even less. For me, re-gifting is a form of revenge. If somebody gives me a candle that I think smells like the men's bathroom at the 7/11 Store, I wrap it in plain, brown paper and give it with a smile to the lady behind the desk at the cleaners who once told me I reminded her of her alchoholic, Great Aunt Bertha from the trailer park in Amarillo. The beauty of this is that the giftee doesn't even realize that you are punishing them and they feel like they have to smile and be grateful and this is fun to watch when you know as they smell the candle that it is making them gag and they have to hide that. HaHaha that's so funny and I have to bend over and hide my glee as I giggle all the way to the car.

I'm not the only one who does that sort of thing. Last Christmas the Asian lady next door (whom I hate) came over to give me some cookies that looked like cat throw-up. It freaked me out and I knew she hated me too so I crumbled them up and scattered them around the birdbath on the deck. The next day I awoke to find two dead black birds, three dead squirrels and a sick possum next to the birdbath. I am plotting my neighborly return gift to her and I bet she'll be surprised to see me smiling at her door with a nicely wrapped present that smells like fruit cake from under the liquor cabinet from three years ago.

Actually...I think she gave that to me...

So....Merry Christmas yall!!

1 comment:

Christine said...

here's the gift that keeps on giving...I've tagged you ladies for a meme over at CFT. perhaps a chance to spotlight the 'BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW' video again?...

happy holidays and can't wait to play more when I'm back in town~