Wednesday, September 5, 2007


Midlife Memory Test:

If any of you middle-agers have ever experienced any of the following, please raise your gnarly, brown-spotted arms...if you can remember:

*this one's a given...forget that your glasses are on your head...du'uh.
*forget that you've taken your 8 daily pills, including the Ginko Baloba which you take for memory resulting in a double dose.
*if you smoke, forget that you don't have the actual cigarette in your mouth and light it, singeing the nostril hairs that you should have clipped that morning.
*forget your train of thought in mid-sentence, "Then she said................" If you are surrounded by other middle-agers, the game of come back begins as everyone retraces the conversation back to that point. If the little man in your brain has had time to take that thought back to the way-back file in your mind, you can forget finding the train of thought and have to move on.
*forget your list of groceries causing the purchase of just about everything except what you had on your list which rests comfortably on the table next to dhe door so you wouldn't forget it.
*forget where you're going, causing an overwhelming desire for a cheeseburger at the nearest Sonic instead which will eventually help you remember where to go next.
*forget to put mascara on the left eye as well as the right eye.
*forget to write in your check register the last 23 debit receipts. No worries here because the bank will help you remember when they send you the overdraught notice.
*"What was I talking about?
*oh yeah, forget that the oven is not the refrigerator and discover the head of lettuce you put in there a week before. The odor is the only thing that reminds you as it petrifies into a hard, green/brown boulder.
*forget that you have the camera facing you instead of the subject to be photographed. The flash going off 1/2 inch from your face will remind you, but you'll be blind for a week.
*and finally, forget that you're married when you bring that one night stand to your front door after 3 martinis too many at the bar.

Now, if you are not middle-aged and can answer yes to any of the above, dial 911 immediately.

I have a hard time remembering where I put my cell phone. I have to pick up the land line and call myself at least three times a week so it will ring and I can find where I put it so I woudn't forget where it was.
Sometimes I forget a simple word and come to a complete standstill, 'KK, could you get me my Red Bull? I left it in know, the room with the sink and stuff'. KK understands, 'You mean the kitchen?' Yeah, yeah, thanks.
The short term memory goes right out the window with menopause. You can't remember where you put your roach clip last night but you never forget your secret password to ''.
I have a hard time remembering where I put my cell phone. I have to pick up the land line and call myself at least three times a...oh.
Remember the Alamo!

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