Saturday, September 15, 2007

Doctors

How midlifers view doctors:

Here's the deal. I'm a woman and I go to a woman doctor. I have always been suspicious of male doctors who choose the field of gynecology as their 'area of expertise.' How many female proctologists do you suppose there are? I want someone who has the same parts that I do. And, why would a woman marry a male gynecologist? I mean, would you think he would want to have anything to do with your 'secret garden' after looking at some pretty skanky, overgrown, diseased, weedy types all day long?? Forget it if he's attractive too. That's just the worst!

Then you have your breast exam, and if he is cute, it's the most humiliating feel up a woman can have. I know I'm getting some 'Amens' out there, right ladies? The whole experience is icky through and through.

I had a female, jewish Italian gynecologist in New York who once told me that I had one of the most beautiful uterus's (or would that be uteri?) that she'd ever seen. I stopped going to her too.

When we go to doctors at this age, we just want them to say that we're the picture of health...that we should keep smoking, don't worry about how many cocktails we have a week and eat whatever the hell we want to eat...cholesterol be damned. We want them to say that our spider veins will disappear, that our moles will all get smaller, that middle-age makes small boobs grow larger, not longer and that our sagging butts will lift all by themselves. That's the kind of doctor I'm still looking for, and it would only cost me $10.

I'm open to any referrals you might have.
kk

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Well, I'm sorry it took me so long to add my part of this category but it brought up some bad memories and I am very busy producing my documentary. More on that later.
I dated a gynocologist in Santa Fe in the 80's and he was the tallest, most gorgeous man you ever saw but he was a cad. I knew he was a man-about-town but I was flattered when he zeroed in on me. And I wanted to know why he never stuck with one woman. Unfortunately, I found out that it was the other way around. No woman wanted to stick with him. He started getting a little kinky on me and I didn't like that. I don't like to be slapped or come at from the back. I like fun sex where you laugh and connect with someone. He also kept complaining about how women always come to their appointments with baby powder all over their vajayjays and he had gotten to the point where he just couldn't stand any women who used baby powder in any way. I have to say though, he new more about my body than I did and that made for some good fun. For awhile.

If sex isn't fun don't do it that's what I say,
SalGal

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