Wednesday, August 22, 2007


The tattoos everybody is getting these days are really starting to bug me. This is a typical example of the emperor's new clothes. Everyone is telling him his robes are beautiful when they know damn good and well that he is nekked as a jaybird. It's the same with tattoos. I am guilty of telling someone that their tattoo of a purple ghekko around their belly button is really awesome but I was just trying to be nice. I didn't want to hurt their feelings by saying what I really thought which was, "Do you know that when you are 55 years old that stupid thing is going to warp into a wrinkled or bloated rendition of itself? Are you fucking crazy? That thing is going to turn into either a dead snake or a plum if you don't watch your weight.

I would kill to have the nice, smooth skin of a 25 year old and yet they are covering their arms and backsides with statements and pictures that will be totally embarrassing when they are 20 years older. Way not to see the big picture of life. Way to exhibit their shallow, immature outlook on what they think is meaningful.

I completely understand the military tattoos and feel they have long standing meaning for those who get them. I also understand the ones that say 'Mother' or the face of a child. Those I get and even appreciate. But a little red devil at the base of the spine that shows above a girl's jeans and points down to her ass? I don't want to see that. It makes me want to spank her and send her to her room with Depak Chopra book.
I bet you think I'm an old fuddy duddy but I am saying this from experience. I'll have you know I've had a tattoo for 35 years. It's a little, yellow rose of Texas right next to my heart. It's got a little, green leaf that comes up behind it. But...with age comes sagging. And now my little, yellow rose of Texas is down here next to my waist and it looks like a picture of LBJ with liver disease and an elf hat.
I'm jis sayin'
Beware what you do after the sage, basil Mojitos at Fino's were to good to have just one,

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