Drugs

How midlife drug-taking differs:

When I was in my twenties, I took every drug I could get my hands on. Marijuana does lead to other drugs, don't kid yourself, and I was delighted to try just about anything. Having been raised as a"good girl,' I only took small amounts of everything. I spent that decade deciding on my drugs of choice. I settled on booze, pot, LSD and speed. Taking small amounts of all these drugs created an entirely new sense of well being because they all canceled each other out, so the high felt like I'd just gotten a fabulous shiatsu massage. Music was all important to me during that time, and now when I hear old songs of that period, my throat glands squirt with the phantom sense that I've just swallowed something I shouldn't, and with each song, I remember which drug it was. Great memories, both tactile and hilarious.

In my thirties, I settled down a bit and rid my brain of all the psychedelics. I was too busy trying to be perfect, but pot continued to entice me. I had reached a level of paranoia with marijuana; however, so I had to take a half a valium to counteract the feeling that the police were about to break down my front door at any moment. That decade brings back memories of all the times I embarrassed myself while trying to act normal. Like the time I ran into a man who had ashes on his forehead and I laughed as I told him that his face was dirty so I rubbed it all off. I was just trying to be helpful. I wasn't a catholic.

My forties introduced me to cocaine, but not the lines that were a foot long...just a little toot of some from under my fingernail. I was still 'a good girl.' I liked it, but again wanted that feeling of calm, so I would add to that little toot, a glass of wine and half a reefer. The canceling out process again took me to the perfect high. I could laugh, grind my teeth, be charming and go to sleep whenever I wanted to. I usually had these little parties by myself and would do the white-woman boogie all around my little apartment so the music must have still been good.

Now that I'm in my fifties, I take drugs that counteract all the drugs I took before like gingko baloba to enhance the memory I lost with all the pot, I take calcium to strengthen the bone mass that eroded from the cocaine. I take Lipitor to counteract all the munchie attacks from the pot that made my cholesterol sky high, and I take Ibuprofen for any potential hangovers from the wine I still drink. It's all in the balance. Although I continue to embarrass myself at parties, it has nothing to do with drugs anymore...it's just my predisposition towards saying the wrong things to the wrong people.

Rock on,
kk